Recently I considered marrying my boyfriend because he is from India and his Visa was running out, and he couldn’t get a job during the recession. I ended up deciding it wasn’t right for me right now, and not for the right reasons, even though I could see myself marrying him eventually. My parents were very against it, too. Luckily, he found a job in the last minute, and we are now closer than ever. But the big question I have, now that I’ve thought about it so much, is: What is the purpose of marriage? Some say to raise a family, some say for financial reasons, some for religious reasons, some say for security… but what’s the true purpose? Do you need to be married to be fully committed to eachother? Just curious what you think on this topic. I know there is no right or wrong answer, really. Thanks. N
Yours is a very interesting and profound philosophical question which far too few people ask themselves before embarking on a marriage. Marriage certainly can satisfy all the things you describe, but it’s much more than that. Commitment is a process. The marriage ceremony is one step in the process, an important one. It publicly announces to the whole community that you two affirm to all that you are partners with the intention of being partners for life. We, the authors, have been together for 15 years and we still feel that we are becoming more committed and married as time goes by. We lived together for 4 years before we got married and there was a genuine difference for both of us when we decided to take that step.
To get to the other part of your question, “What is the purpose of marriage?” in our opinion one gets married to have a partner, a companion to share your life with. In our book and on our website, www.howtoknowifitstimetogo.com, we offer a Marriage Bill of Rights which describes all the positive things that a married couple should provide for one another. Check it out.