The Marriage Test
The Marriage Test is a compilation of all 100 questions of all the chapters
in How to Know When It’s Time to Go. This is not a scientific test but it is
an excellent opportunity to create a dialogue between you and your mate
about where the issues are in your marriage. Here are 15 sample
1. Do my spouse and I compete for our children’s loyalty and
2. Have our persistent disagreements led to open or hidden
anger and disrespect between us? Do I sometimes feel as if my
partner has no emotions at all, that he or she has hardened
toward me? Yes___No___
3. For the most part, have my spouse and I stopped trying to
please each other in the areas that really matter to each of us?
4. Do I feel the scorecard of “rights and wrongs” between us is
strongly out of balance? Is this leading us to resort to
“payback” and signs of suppressed anger? Yes___No___
5. Is there too great an imbalance of power between us in the
6. Are we stuck in habits we formed when we were much less
mature people? Yes___No___
7. Do we avoid spending time together? Do we avoid going to
bed at the same time most nights? Yes___No___
8. Have I developed a greater level of intimacy with a family
member, a same-sex friend, or a colleague than I have with
my spouse? Does this person make me feel more accepted,
and more respected than my mate? Yes___No___
9. Do I feel my mate is not sufficiently loyal to me?!Yes___No___
10. Do I feel my mate is not sufficiently protective of me?
11. Do I feel my marriage lacks affection? Yes___No___
12. Is there an unfair division of labor in my marriage?
13. Has my mate let me down when I needed physical or
emotional caring? Yes___No__
14. Do I feel taken for granted in my marriage?! Yes___No___
15. Do I lack sufficient companionship in my marriage?