I don’t feel special anymore

Even before the 25th anniversary my marriage lost intimacy and joy. We mainly talk about the adult kids and argue about dealing with our debt. I don’t feel that he feels I am special anymore. Our mutual moments of sharing happiness being together are rare. We are in our early 50?s. Is it just time to move on? L

Dear L,
You and your husband are experiencing a problem that affects many couples who have been married a long time. The demands of life can easily wear you down. Dr. Birnbach meets people in private practice frequently who are experiencing something similar to what you describe. Moving on is a last resort for when you have tried everything else with persistence to try to rejuvenate the relationship. You need a willing partner and probably would benefit from professional help. At the very least you must tell your spouse that you no longer feel special to him and that this is driving you away.

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