Abuse

My husband of 30 years has emotionally; three times physically and financially abused me. I left him about 6 weeks ago after two years of therapy. He now is saying how much he loves me; and couldn’t imagine his life without me. We are in marriage counseling but how can I trust him again? My therapist says he is a “classic abuser” but I am not so sure. Is there any hope of getting back together again? T

Dear T,
There is hope, but you need a lot of assurance before we’d urge you to live with this man again. It’s great that he has gone into marriage counseling with you, but has he gone for counseling individually to work on his anger and power issues? That seems essential on two counts: one to assure your future happiness together, but another to demonstrate clearly that he recognizes his need to change his behavior permanently, and his willingness to acquire the tools to do it. Don’t rush back; six weeks is not nearly long enough for him to demonstrate real conviction.

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